I was going to write another post this week; it was going to detail one of the reasons I began this site. I am going to write it, I need to. But not now; you see I don’t quite know how to phrase the words do it justice. I decided in the mean time to write an open letter. I wrote about the ignorant, the small percentage they are. However I have yet to endeavour to write of the people, that are positive and have given my life colour. This is what I am writing of now; I hope to do them justice.
The Attitude Awards have just been televised; these awards work to celebrate ability in spite of challenges. The people that win and were apart of the awards have done incredible things and after watching I thought to myself is what I am doing here; good enough. In comparison to the work that is currently being done. Comparison is something we all battle am I good enough. Am I smart enough. Am I doing as good as my peers. Subjective questions, but the answer is always the same. The answer is yes. You are good enough. Yes what I am saying is worth every character typed, just as much as those who have a message similar to mine. I have spent my life in battle with comparison because I will never be like everyone else and that was a hard reality. I found my worth when I realised that I decided what that meant. I am not like everybody else; not because I am DISabled but because I am able to do things with the use of a wheelchair, I said I am yet to write my original piece because I didn’t know how to phrase my words. I have learned to do that over the years and it is of vivid importance because if I am not Disabled in my words, if I see myself differently then others will too.
I am not disabled. I use a wheelchair. These two phrases although they depict the same thing; show different mindsets. It is all about, how you see yourself; if you get that sorted, then others will eventually see what you see. Because you are worthy; but for others to see it. You must.
Even during the times I have questioned my own worth and wondered if fighting was really worth it. I came back to the understanding that I have got this far and it cannot be for nothing. The people that believe in me are the reason I find the strength to get through rehabilitation; because I want to go up north for New Years and for them to see their belief in my abilities manifest. I have fought to be considered equal; I will work towards the day when equalism a word free of connotation is taken from theory and put into practice. I started Letters to Corey as a step in this quest. And I am not alone in it, because for some reason I have the privilege of knowing people on the same quest as me. I’ll be it they all get around on two legs; however they all will or do have challenges at some point and on the days when they doubt their place in this world; what would I tell them. On the days when they compare, despair or have nobody to share in their success with, what would I want them to know.
Simply. I want each of them to know how proud I am to be apart of their lives. There had not and will not ever be a greater accomplishment for me, because everything that I do. It will not be for myself. It will be in the name of all those who believed in me. In times when society told them it would be easier to not. All my achievements will not be because I alone was able to achieve. Rather because others were able to continue me to be strong in my quest for ability. So if you ever doubt yourself. Think; what influence have I had on others. Playing small does not serve the world. Neither does sitting on the sideline. You have the capability to do whatever you wish and I will be there; if it falls apart or if it stands tall either way I will always be proud of you. Because I believe in you. And I always will.
I want to tell them to never be afraid of change. You will never have complete control. That is the truth. All you have is your reaction to what life throws at you. Being strong is easier written than it is practiced; so I am not going to say that. What I am going to write; is do not be one of those people who complains, wishes and dreams on Instagram. Write about it after, do whatever it is you need to do, face the challenges life with throw at you and then write. But never be one of those people who finds more happiness in attention from others than they do in themselves. Because those people, will one day leave or change. You will be left with your choices and yourself do not make choices or change for another’s ideals, you. Are you. So face your life. Reach out to others but most of all develop the strength within yourself to know that no matter what. You will be strong. I will be there for you. You are strong enough. You can do it. When you forget I will remind you.
I want to tell them to never compromise their passions or devalue their achievements. Because one kid may be good with numbers and that’s dandy, but he may not be the one to pick up a guitar and play like you can. If your passion is outside the box, do not devalue it. Take a knife to the box. None of us are the origin of the stereotypes that may influence us, but we can be the spark; of change and development. Toward acceptance. He saw the angel in the marble or something right? If you really believe in something or love something. Sculpt past the difficulty, set the angel free and most of all you must not ever let someone or outside standards dictate your beliefs. Fight and never stop fighting.
Some of you are moving to the national breeding ground of sheep others of you have been there since pre-bra days and one of you. I lost but what you said stuck and made me want to be a better person. If there is one thing I have learned and know to be true. It is the importance in knowing. You are never alone. I’ve got you.