The Anatomy of a Red Flag | what to do when they’re not into you and answering the questions you ask yourself after you see red

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A friend of mine helped me recently by teaching me the ‘signs’ of whether or not someone is into you. Here is what to do once you’ve read the signs and seen red.

You have not done anything wrong. I know, I know that you are sitting there thinking to yourself “what did I do wrong” this is question one and it is what I asked myself when I realised he wasn’t into me, a sinking feeling hit my chest and I thought, why.

I thought… Have I done something? Should I have sent more Snapchat’s with obscure animal filters which somehow still flatter 99.98% of users?

I asked myself why doesn’t he like me? And then I asked a friend of mine this same question.

The fundamentals of their reply were

It wasn’t anything you did. There is nothing wrong with you, but you probably just didn’t line up for them.

And that’s the thing you did nothing wrong and there is not anything about you which needs to change. However, the truth of the matter is that sometimes and with some people life does not work out the way you want it to.

Your job when this happens; and things don’t end up the way you hoped. Is to wallow for a little while, but then get over it.

Why do you need to get over it?

You need to get over it because wallowing over a long period is not fair to you or your once potential significant other. The best thing you can do is focus on you. Move on. 

If you were friends with the person, try to keep up that friendship; but if you were chasing someone or in any other circumstance – make a clean break and move on. 

If you’re like me you know you need to move on, but you are not 100% sure what that actually looks like. Here are some tips

Set goals : that FRANK Journal is not meant to just sit on your desk. Write down some goals – either short-term or long-term things to work toward. 

Try something new: a new skill, activity, TV series. Try something new to realign your focus to something else. 

Talk to someone: have a chat with someone you trust and get out all that coiled up negative energy through conversation – once you have done that move on and talk about positive things. Remember, the best thing you can be is happy for you and for everyone around you no matter what, there is always a place – for happiness.

If you have seen a red flag and things haven’t worked out or perhaps you are realising that things aren’t going to happen as you’d like –

I hope you can find solace in knowing all of us have been through this at some point, but you should know that after a red flag eventually, a white flag comes along.


Image: Google

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