On Friday afternoon in the middle of my study period, I found out that I would have to independently attend an event. I had planned to attend with someone but such as life this person couldn’t make it.
I had planned to attend with someone but such as life this person couldn’t make it.
I am quite anxious when it comes to going places that I don’t know, alone. If I don’t know the environment I become fearful and that’s not because I can’t get around, my new chair enables me to get around well but the concept of getting around by myself is still brand new for me. For years – 16 to be exact I needed to have someone around when I was out and about to actually help me. Now I don’t need the help as much, but I do like having someone with me just to be sure that all of my bases are covered it saves me from anxiousness.
My anxiousness regarding going places alone is something I know I need to ‘get over’ but in hindsight, I haven’t actioned many practical strategies to do so.
However, it seems yesterday life intervened and kicked me up the bum. Upon finding out I would have to go alone to this event alone, in all honesty, I did burst into tears to which my friend responded by saying
“JUST BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE”
After a few attempts at doing this, I succeeded and knew I couldn’t back out of going to the event because that’d be a cop-out and not reflect well on me or my ability to do a job so I decided to do the best I could and go alone.
The only problem (or so I thought it was a problem) was that I did need some degree of help – basically, I needed someone to look out for me just from afar because there were 800 people at this event, in a small space so being alone would prove to be unsafe and a bit too risky.
I was nervous to explain this to the [epic] guy who I was working for yesterday – because I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t capable of the work because I needed help. Turns out he didn’t think this at all, he told me that lots of people would have my back – and as the event began I became another one of the chicks in high vis vests – I was equal parts independent but also safe because I didn’t try and be fully self-sufficient, I was true to myself – explained I needed someone to watch over me and it all worked out.
The reason why I wanted to share this with you is to exemplify that in some way everyone needs help, someone somewhere has got your back – in my experience it has been easy for me to feel useless because I am not proficient at practicalities, I have had to learn to accept that and be confident in the skills I do have. Each of us has to learn to do this.
Remember, you are useful, you are capable but equally so no [wo] man is an island if you think you need help or if you don’t feel entirely capable say so. We each need to learn to accept that there are aspects of our lives in which we may not be entirely able but that is okay. That is why we have friends, bosses, voices – so we can vocalise when we do need help and then have someone to help us.
At the event, I had people watching over me but equally so I was able to carry out my intentions independently so I could later do the work that is my strength, writing.
Don’t fear the prospect of doing things alone but equally so do not fear if you need to ask for help.