Rock, Paper or Glass;
Rock, is solid. It has been built one way and does not change, it is chipped away at and does not regenerate, when put in new environments it is simply a rock it cannot adapt.
Paper, is adaptable, mouldable it can be whatever you want but the thing about it is, paper itself is just paper; flimsy, weak; to become something it needs, folding, glue, cello tape other materials to make it strong, so it cannot adapt itself; rather it relies and it is dependant on other things.
Glass, in its beginning is sand; these grains individually are on the surface, useless; flimsy, weak. However together, the sand is taken and moulded, gathered; it is then put through heat, hell, challenge and it is strengthened to become glass; however that same strong material, created from something seemingly useless; can easily be broken, smashed; however if someone takes the time to find all the pieces, it can be rebuilt and strengthened; it does not have to have all the pieces where they once were, but it can adapt and be just as beautiful as it was in the beginning.
Moral strength is glass, unlike the other materials, it is built from something individually weak; and becomes strong, paper does not change, even when stronger it is still paper; but sand is completely different to the glass it becomes; moral strength is built from weakness and goes through pressure and heat, to become strong; it can be broken, but it can be rebuilt; not in the same way; but just as strong as before if you take the time to put it back together.
Ever since I was diagnosed, moral strength has been vital. However, the choice between glass, paper or rock was not a given and I have wavered, through it all though I have rebuilt; you can too.
I would not be here without moral strength, but I am not just talking about the big stuff; the surgeries, fortitude through hospital stay and strength through rehabilitation. I am also talking about the moral strength needed, every time you talk to someone new and wonder if they’re judging you because your disabled; the moral strength required when you have to plan your day three hours in advance or when your transfer from seat to chair has to have a play by play before it is even attempted;
these little things have become my life and I do not think twice about any of them, I breathe in and I continue but heres the thing; if I had not developed the strength to get through the daily struggles then I could not get through the big things, the true challenges. It is about what you do every day, how you carry yourself day in and day out counts for more then how you carry yourself during hardship; because all hardship is temporary but your choice in how you conduct yourself daily; makes or breaks you. Moral strength, comes from weakness; but it is you who has to make the choice, to turn that weakness into strength; make the choice every day to not give up, your weaknesses are not going anywhere, your challenges remain but you can take them both and create something to push you, comfort you; that is how sand becomes glass, that is how Letters to Corey manifested; because I took my weakness and created a strength.
There is no cookie cutter answer here, I cannot tell you how to get moral strength but I can tell you this, the other day I was talking to someone off my bus; we spoke this one time and the entire time I was freaking out that he was only talking to me, because he felt sorry for me; or because he felt like he had too, my weakness is what people think of me, and he hasn’t spoken to me again, so I am still freaking out; no matter how much I am told otherwise, my weakness and biggest insecurity is that people judge me; however I am having surgery today, so I pick myself up and I continue, I hope he will talk to me; I hope he doesn’t think I am robotic, I still worry. But I continue anyway.
That is moral strength; feeling your weakness, it is knowing that you have it; but trusting that you are stronger than what could break you and knowing you have what it takes to rebuild.
I cannot give you this ability, you must develop your own sense of fortitude what can I do?
When I am feeling like giving up; I think of others, the people before me who have done great things in spite of disability, the people I want to be like; I think of myself in ten years and who I want to be and lastly I think of everyone who never got the chance to meet their potential because they weren’t given encouragement or role models; I keep going for all of these things; because I want to role model, I want to be as strong as those before me and mostly I want to beat what could break me. Find something that keeps you going, an aspiration a role model, a dream and think of this every time you wonder if the fight is worth it, every time you think throwing the duvet over your head would be easier; think of something that you want, something that you will fight for and get up; face the day.
Moral strength has no end game you do not get it and that is it, it is something that develops in you over time, adapts, smashes, is put back together and it does all this; because in spite of everything; if you make the choice and fight through the day, even at your weakest that fight is rebuilding, even at your weakest the fight is still there; the strength remains in you, if you choose to let it through; moral strength is a daily choice for all things, your weakness and your strengths alone do not define who you are; what you create with them and how you behave is what makes you; moral strength is a choice. Make yours.