Lets talk about Cake;
This one time, a guy made me a cake and it wasn’t no basic cake, it was frosted and had decorations on it, time and effort went into this cake. The person is one of those people who you look at and know that in some way, they’ll give something incredible back to our society, not because he made the cake, but because of who he is; he was just kind, considerate; and he made cake so trifecta!
The cake, and its baker, made me think about, a subject mostly avoided by me. Guys. You see I don’t talk about it; mostly because I am pretty much ignored by the opposite gender, and I wondered why for a long time.
In a chair it is easy to think, that everything comes back to that fact.
No boyfriend, in wheelchair. Can’t reach the high shelf, in wheelchair. Stranded on a hill, wheelchair broken.
In reality however, I could have no boyfriend because I like my house and knitting more then the mall and small talk, I could maybe not reach the high shelf because everything I need is on the lower shelf and I could be stranded on a hill, because I thought I could walk up it.
Not everything comes back to one fact, no one thing makes you who you are or represents you, a person is not two dimensional; and although it may seem like it, everything is not summed up; by one circumstance. I realised (with the help of the cake) what I could learn from this subject and it came down to two lessons; I have finally learned
I am calling them, Approach and Mirror
How you approach other people is really important, the reason I feel uncomfortable with new people or young men; is mostly because I am unsure of their approach, apart of me thinks stupid things; I thought the approach of that cake was a “sympathy, sorry your ankles were fused cake” and that changes how I behave, because I don’t want people to think I am something to be sorry for;
But if I was being logical; I would’ve realised that he didn’t have to make the cake, and he did talk to me and get down on my level to do so; he wasn’t doing anything out of sympathy. He was just himself; an amazing example of a generous and kind person, by worrying about his approach; I was devaluing him, we must trust in the goodness and kindness of people; and in their approach to us, manifesting such behaviour. Sometimes what we think is occurring in front of us is actually in our heads; step back from what you are worried about and look at the person in front of you; because your past experiences do not carbon copy your future ones; even if people have treated you badly, or differently; it does not mean, everyone will.
Approach everything and everyone with an open mind and with a clean slate, people deserve chances, and you cannot expect to be approached with positivity if you do not reciprocate. All people have something to offer, and over the years; I have realised that there will be people, who approach me differently because of my chair; and once I came to terms with that; I saw that those people; are only doing so, because they don’t know me; by smiling and giving and showing people, who you are beyond one circumstance; you are not just adding light to the world – but you are educating people; and giving light to those whom need it.
Everything is an opportunity and all people are different; believe that you are more then one circumstance and approach people with the attitude you would like them to show, to you. If you believe it; and you express it; people will believe it too or at least learn from you.
An approach means more then a circumstance, approach with positivity, confidence and perseverance all things; before long everything that could’ve held you back, will push you forward; toward your goals; with the support of people, who see you. For you.
A mirrors main job is to reflect, we must also do this ourselves; reflect. When we look in the mirror we might see, the hair we wish would curl perfectly, instead of like an 80’s cover bands. Or the eyeliner which just won’t go on right! It is easy to get caught up in these small imperfections, because when the mirror reflects them so clearly back at us, they seemingly matter even more – but a mirror, cannot reflect; compassion, goodness, acts of kindness and inherent abilities; it is your duty to reflect those things within yourself and believe them, when you are wondering if you are good enough, because you are!
You stand in front of the mirror and you look at the hair that won’t curl, you see the almost-cat eye; but you smile and think ‘man I can and will rock this today’ because I am so much more then something that isn’t quite right, and my perceived imperfect self; will be someones perfect! I am perfect, as I am for someone. You look in that mirror; with your beautiful face looking back at you and think: I am able to smile, I can be a positive influence; and the people who I influence, will go onto do the same, the mirror may not reflect that; but I can and I believe in it!
You are so much more then anything tangible; it is with belief; you will look past the external and find yourself, what makes you tick, what you’re passionate about; those things are who you are.
There is nothing wrong with valuing or putting pride into your appearance – but it is when you value it higher then your passions, attitude, abilities and future successes; or your inside self. That you will find disappointment; because the truth is; attitude is forever; same as goodness and acts of kindness, but make-up or how you look will always be, temporary;
someone will love you because of your beautiful hair, your lovely almost-cat eyes; but they will do so in conjunction with their love for your passions and support of your goals, they will love you.
INSIDE AND OUT
It is important for you, to share this same truth with others; make sure to affirm your peers in their value and beauty also, because everyone needs a little boost-now-and-then so as you see; and shine in your inner beauty (and that awesomely applied eyeliner shines too as outer beauty) be sure to remind others of their beautiful selves. Be each others mirrors, but most of all; remember and value, what is not visible; when you’re looking in that mirror!
The cake is a symbol it taught me; that eventually one day, all the good; that I strive to put into the world, will be valued, mirrored and manifested in the approach of someone – who can hopefully bake. Right now, I believe this enough to write it; and everyday I will believe it a little more.
To the wonderful person of whom taught me these lessons with his gratitude and cake baking skills, you are all class.