PREFACE: I do not watch the Bachelor
You know how your mum used to say to you ‘you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince’ well I am really hoping that isn’t true, I’m more gunning for a ‘one and done’ approach. Mostly because the thought of having to find multiple humans to potentially kiss is improbable, I am a busy person and the thought of going through the whole ‘dating’ process more than once is enough to get me running the other way, and I can’t even walk – ain’t nobody got time for copious amounts of swiping right and awkward small talk.
One and done is my plan, I will let you know when I find him. (Haven’t yet)
Although one and done is my plan it does not seem to be the plan of the Bachelor. All we have to do is look to The Rock FM’s latest compilation to see that the bachelor’s plan is to lock lips with many beautiful women, and before you say ‘yo Grace babe get with it, that’s what they do for television’
Don’t worry – I do know that. I know that the bach is produced and developed for an audience and so they make it juicy and full of ‘oh my gosh’ moments. I’d also like to say that in writing this I am no way meaning to ‘diss’ anyone.
The women who enter the bachelor have more courage than I ever could have and most of them have the last laugh because they walk away from the show having begun a career in social media or having doors in their desired fields opened for them.
With all that being said I’d just really like it if he’d stop putting his tongue down everyone’s throats – as I said at the preface of this I do not watch the bachelor so I am assuming that the entirety of the programme isn’t K I S S I N G – ing. However, all I have seen in advertisements, shorts and on social media is either a guy with a flower or a guy kissing a girl.
It’s not that I have a problem with all the kissing, I mean I understand that some of it does need to happen – but I think it gives people a warped perception.
Let me explain.
Everyone wants to share their life with another person, most choose to do that through a romantic partner of some kind. The physicalities of a relationship are important, yes. However, that is only one dimension of a relationship. For kissing to be plastered around as the ‘calling card’ to watch the bach, that’s showing people, even subconsciously, that physicality is of more importance than anything else in a relationship or even a fling. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is, kissing isn’t the most important thing, physical contact isn’t the most important thing.
It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is, kissing isn’t the most important thing, physical contact isn’t the most important thing.
We need to teach young people that what is of the highest importance is making sure that you and your body are respected, honoured and consenting in every sense; that means having a rounded relationship where time is spent connecting on other levels, not just physically.
I’m not saying that TV like this should stop, because it is enjoyable for people and the kissing is part of that, I am saying that what we need to do is create spaces to remind those around us of the reality that kissing does not a relationship make, is is one small part of a much larger picture.
To end on a light note here are 2 facts about the act of kissing because it’s a pretty amazing thing – when it is done in a healthy and consensual context.
‘Passionate’ kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute
The longest recorded kiss is 31 hours
It is still unknown by scholars if kissing is instinctual or a learned behaviour but in some cultures/tribes kissing is not something that is done.